My mother’s view:
“Tall, handsome young man who dresses himself very well. Charming with an outgoing personality. Must be able to carry out an intelligent conversation with others and understand the meaning of the conversation. Attractive and outgoing, but not obnoxiously so.”
My Father’s View:
“Funny kid. Can’t keep his mouth shut most of the time but about half of what he says is worth listening to. Not bad looking. Looking for a girl that’s good looking and is bright and interesting to talk to. Likes someone who is just as interested in me as I am in them.”
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Help Needed
This is probably what my parents would say.
Searching for single woman around the age of 18-20. Religious and is well educated. Able to help a slob clean up and can cook. Also may not do any drugs or anything illegal. Must be well respected and be presentable in formal situations. Must be fun to be around and be able to keep the attention of my son. Must be able to hold a job.
If you can't tell my parents are very elitist.
Searching for single woman around the age of 18-20. Religious and is well educated. Able to help a slob clean up and can cook. Also may not do any drugs or anything illegal. Must be well respected and be presentable in formal situations. Must be fun to be around and be able to keep the attention of my son. Must be able to hold a job.
If you can't tell my parents are very elitist.
Help Wanted
So quoth my mother,
"Agh. If I had to write such a message, I'd probably include stuff like "should love books, be very energetic, have a lively mind, a intellectual bent, an appreciation of the unconventional, and a quirky sense of humor...must enjoy horror movies, homemade cookies, good coffee, long walks, classical music(?). Two-faced, self-important, image conscious, spineless, lemming-like trend followers need not apply. The ability to debate would be a plus"
Sounds dandy.
"Agh. If I had to write such a message, I'd probably include stuff like "should love books, be very energetic, have a lively mind, a intellectual bent, an appreciation of the unconventional, and a quirky sense of humor...must enjoy horror movies, homemade cookies, good coffee, long walks, classical music(?). Two-faced, self-important, image conscious, spineless, lemming-like trend followers need not apply. The ability to debate would be a plus"
Sounds dandy.
Attention
It is actually quite ironic, I hung out all day with my mother today and I found out what she really thought about having a son.
"Attention All-Seeking to find a better half for my son. Despite his looks, he means well. Despite how dumb he looks, he can be half a good guy. I do not how it is possible, because he drives my crazy, but I think he can make people happy. Whether mood you are in, he will always be there for you and make you laugh. He will take a bullet for most, and hopefully take one for you. Whatever your interests may be, he will be able to help you. He can make you frustrated to the core, but then make you laugh til you vomit. Ladies-He minds his own business, if you like that. Regardless, he will rock your world.
"Attention All-Seeking to find a better half for my son. Despite his looks, he means well. Despite how dumb he looks, he can be half a good guy. I do not how it is possible, because he drives my crazy, but I think he can make people happy. Whether mood you are in, he will always be there for you and make you laugh. He will take a bullet for most, and hopefully take one for you. Whatever your interests may be, he will be able to help you. He can make you frustrated to the core, but then make you laugh til you vomit. Ladies-He minds his own business, if you like that. Regardless, he will rock your world.
Personal Ad
Seeking a female for my son before I croak:
Looking for a brunette, who is tanned and fit. Has to be into to sports and excercising. Female has to be smart because no one likes an air head. This female also has to be fun to be around and like to have a lot of fun. My son likes to laugh a lot so it is also very important for this woman to have a good sense of humor so that my son does not get bored with you. My son is not that tall so this woman cannot be too tall.
Looking for a brunette, who is tanned and fit. Has to be into to sports and excercising. Female has to be smart because no one likes an air head. This female also has to be fun to be around and like to have a lot of fun. My son likes to laugh a lot so it is also very important for this woman to have a good sense of humor so that my son does not get bored with you. My son is not that tall so this woman cannot be too tall.
Here is the awkwardness my mom wrote for me!
"Now accepting applications for a partnership position. Applicants must be open minded, adaptable, fun loving and well read. The ability to show affection and be cool headed in emergencies are paramount traits for this position. The successful candidate will have the ability to discuss varied topics from current events to emotions. They must demonstrate their commitment to womens equality in all aspects of life from the board room to the bed room. A generous nature and sense of social responsibly are required. Knowledge and appreciation of the arts is a plus for the applicant. An excellent sense of humor needed to successfully fulfill the duties of this position. Athleticism or an appreciation of sports is helpful. A Post Baccalaureate degree and comeliness will give applicants preference but are not required. Applicants sincerely interested in making this life long commitment may apply."
"Now accepting applications for a partnership position. Applicants must be open minded, adaptable, fun loving and well read. The ability to show affection and be cool headed in emergencies are paramount traits for this position. The successful candidate will have the ability to discuss varied topics from current events to emotions. They must demonstrate their commitment to womens equality in all aspects of life from the board room to the bed room. A generous nature and sense of social responsibly are required. Knowledge and appreciation of the arts is a plus for the applicant. An excellent sense of humor needed to successfully fulfill the duties of this position. Athleticism or an appreciation of sports is helpful. A Post Baccalaureate degree and comeliness will give applicants preference but are not required. Applicants sincerely interested in making this life long commitment may apply."
Wanted, young man single and free
A suitable suitor is wanted here
or else my daughter may never wed. I fear
for her future so this ad I put out.
The right man it will find, of this there’s no doubt.
Eighteen she is now, with brown curly hair.
She stays out of the sun, her complexion is fair.
The sax and bassoon, she can play both. Soon
the two of you will begin to play in tune
and beautiful music shall you two create.
Once you have met her you’ll swear it was fate
that brought you together. She loves to cook,
and bake, and so you’ll always be well fed.
She’s good with her hands – she can massage your head!
There’s not really anything we ask of you,
if you want her come take her, this is your cue.
A ladder outside her window they’ll be
climb up it and take her, you can have her for free.
or else my daughter may never wed. I fear
for her future so this ad I put out.
The right man it will find, of this there’s no doubt.
Eighteen she is now, with brown curly hair.
She stays out of the sun, her complexion is fair.
The sax and bassoon, she can play both. Soon
the two of you will begin to play in tune
and beautiful music shall you two create.
Once you have met her you’ll swear it was fate
that brought you together. She loves to cook,
and bake, and so you’ll always be well fed.
She’s good with her hands – she can massage your head!
There’s not really anything we ask of you,
if you want her come take her, this is your cue.
A ladder outside her window they’ll be
climb up it and take her, you can have her for free.
As written by my dad himself,
If the intent of the assignment is to get us to leave our cultural “comfort zones” to challenge our values and beliefs, the instructor succeeded. The thought of seeking suitors for our child- inferring her loss of will and assent in the process – conflicts with our deepest held values. That said, parental involvement in arranging marriages is a tradition of many cultures, and needs to be respected in the context of faith traditions and mores:
Be it known that Jean and Paul Adams of Kingston, PA wish for their daughter, Lindsay, a suitor to complement her many wonderful qualities and values. Lindsay is special because she understands her gifts and talents and openly shares them;she is unafraid to stand alone for what she believes; she selflessly goes the extra mile in support of those in need; and she has always used wisely her power of choice to help others. Suitors who will love and respect Lindsay, and who possess values and qualities that complement hers, should make their intentions known directly to our daughter.
If the intent of the assignment is to get us to leave our cultural “comfort zones” to challenge our values and beliefs, the instructor succeeded. The thought of seeking suitors for our child- inferring her loss of will and assent in the process – conflicts with our deepest held values. That said, parental involvement in arranging marriages is a tradition of many cultures, and needs to be respected in the context of faith traditions and mores:
Be it known that Jean and Paul Adams of Kingston, PA wish for their daughter, Lindsay, a suitor to complement her many wonderful qualities and values. Lindsay is special because she understands her gifts and talents and openly shares them;she is unafraid to stand alone for what she believes; she selflessly goes the extra mile in support of those in need; and she has always used wisely her power of choice to help others. Suitors who will love and respect Lindsay, and who possess values and qualities that complement hers, should make their intentions known directly to our daughter.
Add
So I went right to the source and had my mom create this list of requirements.
Looking for a male that fits these requirements:
IQ≥140
Income≥85% of single working males
No genetic defects
A blood type (least incidence of cancer)
Weight≤170
Height≥5’10
No obesity history in family
No masochistic tendencies or history of sexual abuse
Must have a psychological screening
and preferably these too:
Asian
No chest hair
Good looking with a good sense of humor
Youngest child (no eldest or only childs)
Looking for a male that fits these requirements:
IQ≥140
Income≥85% of single working males
No genetic defects
A blood type (least incidence of cancer)
Weight≤170
Height≥5’10
No obesity history in family
No masochistic tendencies or history of sexual abuse
Must have a psychological screening
and preferably these too:
Asian
No chest hair
Good looking with a good sense of humor
Youngest child (no eldest or only childs)
Suitor for 18 year old female with blonde hair brown eyes needed. Ideally looking for …..
http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/watchdog/blog/brett-favre-si-cover.jpg
http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/watchdog/blog/brett-favre-si-cover.jpg
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Male Seeking Female
Age: 18-23
I am a college freshman who stands about 6'1", has dark brown hair and blue eyes. I am an avid reader and am looking for someone who is willing to discuss the deep art of tragic literature. I also enjoy combat sports and cage fight occasionally. I exercise often and like to stay in good shape. I enjoy the outdoors and would like to go camping more often. I am also an avid politic and follow governmental happenings with great interest. I am an atheist, and would prefer if my partner was not overly religious as it would inevitably spark a conflict. Must love to party (and by party I mean chase squirrels throughout random parks). Must love dogs, horses, and other traditional lunch meats you can think of. Must be taller than wide. Must have an IQ greater than shoe size. My Rossy *cough* um... I mean I am super special and need the right girl.
I am a college freshman who stands about 6'1", has dark brown hair and blue eyes. I am an avid reader and am looking for someone who is willing to discuss the deep art of tragic literature. I also enjoy combat sports and cage fight occasionally. I exercise often and like to stay in good shape. I enjoy the outdoors and would like to go camping more often. I am also an avid politic and follow governmental happenings with great interest. I am an atheist, and would prefer if my partner was not overly religious as it would inevitably spark a conflict. Must love to party (and by party I mean chase squirrels throughout random parks). Must love dogs, horses, and other traditional lunch meats you can think of. Must be taller than wide. Must have an IQ greater than shoe size. My Rossy *cough* um... I mean I am super special and need the right girl.
Ad For Anya
My dad said:
Looking for a Husband:
Husband sought for smart, beautiful daughter. Must be flexible and willing to be the brunt of much sarcastic humor. Must be very attentive, loving and willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary to keep spouse happy. Dumbasses and mean people need not apply. Would also be helpful if financially secure.
***********************************************************************************
My mom said (sticking with the olde English theme of Shakespeare):
What many men desire:
A lady wise, fair, and true. Quick wit and loyal of heart. Golden locks that frame her head like a halo, eyes that speak to you of deep affection. A heavenly picture. A kinder lady you will not find. A fool you would be to not chooseth this fair maiden.
Looking for a Husband:
Husband sought for smart, beautiful daughter. Must be flexible and willing to be the brunt of much sarcastic humor. Must be very attentive, loving and willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary to keep spouse happy. Dumbasses and mean people need not apply. Would also be helpful if financially secure.
***********************************************************************************
My mom said (sticking with the olde English theme of Shakespeare):
What many men desire:
A lady wise, fair, and true. Quick wit and loyal of heart. Golden locks that frame her head like a halo, eyes that speak to you of deep affection. A heavenly picture. A kinder lady you will not find. A fool you would be to not chooseth this fair maiden.
Blog Assn #19: Parent-Written Personal Ad
Please post on the following by 8 PM Thursday night.
Your parent, nearing death like Portia's dad, as a last desperate action to help your life go well posts a personal ad in your behalf, attempting to maximize the chances that you end up with the right person. Write the personal ad your parent would compose.
Your parent, nearing death like Portia's dad, as a last desperate action to help your life go well posts a personal ad in your behalf, attempting to maximize the chances that you end up with the right person. Write the personal ad your parent would compose.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Antonio
Antonio is obviously one of the key characters in this play. He seems to be the character that needs the most help. He is the character who likes to act selfishly and doesn’t seem to care if his views are wrong, he is still going to stick by them. He also seems to have a lot of self-pity. He is always is portrayed as very sad and possibly even depressed. In the first Act we can see that this depression may be due to love and Antonio’s unsuccessfulness with it. Even though Antonio wants to deny this, it does seem to be the root of his depression. I know that in present times the majority of our society would not accept the bias views that Antonio has towards Jewish people in particular Shylock. However, since in Shakespeare’s time there was a large population of Christians, and I would think that back then Christians had no problem blaming Jews for the death of Christ. So it makes me wonder what Shakespeare really wants us to think about these prejudiced views. Perhaps even Shakespeare had no problem with these views? I just wonder whether these views of Jews were actually commonly accepted back in this time period.
The Rays are still going down!!!!!!!
I think the most interesting character in The Merchant of Venice is Antonio. Shakespeare tries to show him as being one of the truest friends to Bassanio and that he is just trying to make his friend happy by taking responsibility for paying the loan to Shylock. He happens to be taking a major business risk that doesn't pay off and he is now bankrupt and in debt to Shylock. The tables have now turned on Antonio, because he is now broke and Bassanio, now in a relationship with the wealthy Portia, has become rich. Now with the change of wealth it is now up to Bassanio to save his friend Antonio who supported him when he had no money or credibility. Even though Antonio has treated Shylock poorly, Shakespeare still tries to get the point across that Antonio is a great friend and that he is loyal to his friends and puts his neck out for them.
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