My dad said:
Looking for a Husband:
Husband sought for smart, beautiful daughter. Must be flexible and willing to be the brunt of much sarcastic humor. Must be very attentive, loving and willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary to keep spouse happy. Dumbasses and mean people need not apply. Would also be helpful if financially secure.
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My mom said (sticking with the olde English theme of Shakespeare):
What many men desire:
A lady wise, fair, and true. Quick wit and loyal of heart. Golden locks that frame her head like a halo, eyes that speak to you of deep affection. A heavenly picture. A kinder lady you will not find. A fool you would be to not chooseth this fair maiden.
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